Believe it or not, HOA bullying is a real problem many homeowners associations grapple with. It can be difficult to identify bullying, especially when the HOA board has such strong personalities. However, when left unchecked, bullying can lead to a host of other issues, including legal ones. As such, board members should know how to pinpoint bullying and what to do about it.
In this article:
What is HOA Bullying?
According to the American Psychological Association, bullying is a “form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort.” Bullying can come in several forms, including physical, verbal, or subtle actions.
Bullying is a problem more commonly associated with children or in schools. However, bullying can happen anywhere and to anyone. Adults are not exempted from bullying; even grown-ups can display aggressive behavior towards others.
One particular setting where bullying remains an issue is community associations. Bullying exists in many HOAs and condo communities and happens more often within the HOA board. Board members hold power in a community and some abuse that power by bullying residents or fellow board members.
Fortunately, there are steps board members can take to circumvent and resolve HOA bullying.
How to Spot an HOA President Bully
A position of power can have a drastic effect on people. A person can be wholly cordial and amiable, but one hint of authority, and that all may fly out the window. Some don’t reveal their true colors until they have gotten a taste of control. A difficult resident can easily assume a board seat in an uncontested election.
It is usually hard to tell how someone might change when joining the HOA board. Fortunately, there are some warning signs to watch out for. An association might eventually have an HOA board bully on their hands if he/she:
- Does not want to schedule or attend regular board meetings
- Conducts HOA business or decisions without speaking to the rest of the board
- Refuses to permit or listen to constructive feedback or suggestions
- Does not allow room for discussion on any topic
- Thinks the rules do not apply to them
- Displays intimidating or threatening behavior
- Speaks in an aggressive manner
- Exhibits violent tendencies
- Consistently singles out a particular member
- Pursues personal vendettas or agendas
Dealing With HOA Board Bullies the Right Way
Bullies can be hard to handle, especially when they hold a position on the HOA board. With the right mindset and careful actions, it is possible to defuse a tense situation and confront a bully with great success.
Here is how to deal with bullying in your HOA.
1. Remain Calm
When dealing with bullies on your HOA board, it is essential to remain calm. Getting angry might feel good temporarily, but it can quickly backfire. If you lose your temper, the situation can escalate. Some bullies even do it to get a reaction out of you because they thrive on negativity.
Stay composed to show the bully and others that you control your emotions. No one wants a hothead — let alone two — on the board.
2. Have a Private Conversation
Confronting a bully publicly can quickly worsen the matter. They might feel attacked, especially if others gang up on them. The bully might not even realize they’re being difficult.
Instead, try speaking to them privately and without an audience. Make sure to keep a calm demeanor. Starting the conversation on a positive note will also help. Then, gently address their behavior without blaming them. The tone is crucial, so keep it friendly.
You might feel tempted to send an email or write a text instead of meeting face-to-face. However, talking to them in person is better to avoid misunderstandings.
3. Stick to the Facts
Bullies often push their agenda aggressively in meetings. It is best to leave your opinions out of the discussion. Instead of pointing out the insignificant flaws in their proposal or argument, you should stick to the facts. Support your proposals with data and statistics to show that you are rational and practical.
This approach will help you earn the trust of your fellow board members. This will allow you to gain their support, which can help you outnumber the bullies on the board.
4. Use Internal Dispute Resolution
Most associations have an internal dispute resolution process in place. Check your CC&Rs and bylaws to understand yours. Then, make sure to follow the procedures and requirements outlined there. If you have an HOA bullying problem, dispute resolution is always a good option.
5. Opt for Alternative Dispute Resolution
Sometimes, you will need professional help to resolve your bullying problem. You can employ alternative dispute resolution (ADR), such as mediation and arbitration. Hiring a mediator or arbitrator will allow you to get a third-party neutral’s perspective into the fold. It also ensures you deal with the situation without personal bias.
6. Vote to Remove
You can remove the bully from the board as a last resort. Check state laws and your governing documents to understand the requirements and procedures. It may seem like a harsh move, but sometimes, it’s the only way. The HOA board is responsible for keeping the community running; a bully’s presence will only hinder progress.
Removing a board member often requires a vote, whether from the board or the membership. Make sure to follow all requirements and procedures to the letter to avoid claims of invalidity.
7. Implement a Code of Ethics
A good way to prevent HOA bullying in the future is to implement a code of ethics for the board. A code of ethics is a set of standards that holds board members accountable and compels them to carry out their duties ethically.
How an HOA Management Company Can Help
Bullying can harm the HOA board and, in turn, the entire community. Not all boards, though, are equipped to handle a bullying problem when it arises. This is where an HOA management company can help.
An HOA management company can assist the board in completing its duties. These include enforcing the rules, ensuring effective meetings, and mediating disputes. Management companies also often provide board education, which trains board members on how to handle issues.
Parting Words
When left unchecked, HOA bullying can cause a divide within the board, hinder progress, and destroy homeowners’ trust. It is important not to let things worsen to the point of litigation. Learn to identify bullies on the board and how to deal with them.
Elite Management Services provides expert management services to HOAs and condo communities, including board education services. Call us today at (855) 238-8488 or contact us online to learn more!
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